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You think MY gummy bear project was good?

I’m not saying you did think that, my fellow inebriates. My gummy bear project wasn’t well thought out at all. In fact, it was traumatizing for all concerned.

This guy, on the other hand, knows what he’s doing.

My dad told me about the Crazy Russian Hacker. In fact, my dad is now systematically doing everything he does. Yesterday he followed the CRH’s advice to defeat our printer’s low-ink message. The day before that he wrapped Saran Wrap around the banana stems to slow down their ripening rate. Today my dad cooked an egg inside an onion. Tomorrow who knows what he’ll do. But I sure hope he goes out and buys a giant gummy bear so we can saturate it with vodka.

Unspeakable evil at LBHQ, and some Hallo-whining

My Fellow Inebriates,

LBHQ is overrun with kids. It smells like pumpkin guts. For some reason there is NO beer in the house. I feel almost as bad as the recent owner of this arm.

severed hand

But there are far scarier things going on at LBHQ. Remember my precious Canadian Cream?

I was so proud of our homemade booze.

I was so proud of our homemade booze.

It’s been in the fridge for eleven months. No one drinks it. And no one lets me drink it! And today, my mum wanted to shove a pumpkin pie in the fridge, and guess what was in the way?

My mother is evil.

Who would win? Derek or HERMANN’S DARK LAGER?

Sat down with one beer for one episode of Ricky Gervais’s new Netflix show Derek. Next thing you know it was three shows and two beers. (We have to ration ourselves—there are only seven Derek episodes and even fewer beers in the LBHQ fridge.)

My fellow inebriates, I’ve never seen anything like it. Not only did I learn a new song; I also laughed my ass off and blinked away some tears. Holy crap, MFI, I almost forgot about the beer…

We’ve had this one before: HERMANN’S DARK LAGER, and it really hits it out of the park, as does Derek—about which not one word more because I don’t want to be a stupid furry idiot and wreck it. But check this picture out. I got it from Mr. Noakes himself, who has his own Twitter account.