4 reasons why you need a Bloody Mary right now

My Fellow Inebriates,

Twelve hours of swilling amber ale, champagne, red wine and Malibu leads to several things:

  • a furry tongue (if it isn’t already)
  • massive dehydration (especially if you’re non-polyester-based)
  • a thundering headache

Spending half the night in jail never helps either.


New Year’s Day is only tolerable with the hair of the dog. And if you still haven’t mixed yourself a Bloody Mary yet today, then you must be a masochist. Why try to convince yourself that bacon and eggs will solve the problem? Hair of the dog trumps pig flesh and every other hangover solution.

But why?

There are a few schools of thought:

  • A hangover is essentially withdrawal from alcohol. Replenishing your system with fresh vodka will effectively quell its cries of privation.
  • The worst hangover symptoms are caused by methanol, an alcohol congener and the principal culprit in darker drinks such as red wine and bourbon. Methanol is metabolized by alcohol dehyrogenase—but so is ethanol. In fact, your body favors ethanol as a substrate, so by feeding yourself some nice clear booze, you generate a processing uptick. Arguably you simply delay the inevitable hangover, but in an oh-so-pleasant way.
  • Alcohol causes a sugar spike and hypoglycemic low. Drinking more of it is the fastest route to a new sugar bounce and happy times again.
  • The hair of the dog is homeopathic—“like cures like.”

If it’s good enough for Nazareth, it’s good enough for me.

4 thoughts on “4 reasons why you need a Bloody Mary right now

  1. oy. there’s no hangover like a Champgne hangover (all the sugar in Champagne!) but yours truly foolishly forgot to replenish the cupboard with tomato juice or bloody mary mix. Prefer my ‘marys’ with gin, which was in the house.
    New Year’s Day -shudder-.
    Note to self: do NOT forget to stock up next New Year’s Eve.

    • hahahaha, you’re right about all of the above. And I’d much rather have a Bloody Margaret (gin) than a Bloody Mary. The more vodka I taste, the more I prefer gin… Maybe it’s because vodka’s become so non-serious. Did you know you can get bacon-flavored vodka? OMG. I would try it, though, just because…that’s what alcoholics do.

  2. Interesting take on hangovers. I’m a hypoglycaemic and I drink a lot of vodka – because I make it for a living – but I’ve never had a hypoglitch from alcohol.
    Your right about bloody mary’s though. Tomatoes are very rich in chelatores which metabolise alcohol in the blood stream. I’m a bit of an authority on hangovers and how to avoid them. Visit me at vitekvodka.com and well have a chat

    • A hangover authority is just what’s needed this time of year.
      I just checked our government liquor store’s website and your product is not there. Good grief, we must get them to start purchasing it. It’s been a while since I had vodka, and I would certainly buy Vitek if I saw it on the shelf; sounds like it would make for an interesting review.
      I can’t claim to be an authority on hangovers; I avoid them by drinking constantly, which isn’t always feasible for everyone.
      I enjoyed looking at your website and if I ever become a celebrity I’d love to be part of its flash display–bet you don’t have a bear there yet.
      I’d love to chat any time. Cheers.

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