5 reasons hand sanitizer makes a crappy jello shot

My fellow inebriates,

Some of you have asked me what you should do with all your leftover hand sanitizer if/when this COVID-19 thing blows over.

It’s a very good question.

While my instinctive, bear-with-two-brain-cells response is that it’ll make a good jelly shot in a pinch, a two-minute burst of research tells me this is NOT the case. Here’s why…

  1. It contains the wrong kind of alcohol. It contains not ethanol but isopropyl alcohol, a toxic type of alcohol that can permanently damage your liver, kidneys, eyes and brain if you drink it.isopropyl alcohol mar 13
  2. Even if your hand sanitizer does contain drinkable ethanol, it probably also contains a bunch of denaturing agents that may render it toxic (or at the very least, foul-tasting).
  3. The alcohol percentage is much higher than what you’ll find in spirits such as gin or vodka. So even if you find some ethanol-based hand sanitizer, drinking it carries a higher risk of alcohol poisoning.
  4. One of your first symptoms after “sanitizer tasting” will be diarrhea, and that’s never a party favourite.
  5. It’s not yummy, people. Trust me—I got some on my paws this week and of course I sampled it. If you’re wondering whether a small taste will kill you, it won’t. But I give it a very poor review.

Photo: Isopropyl alcohol, Wikipedia

Are you an introvert or an extrovert? Ask the booze bottle!

My fellow inebriates,

At LBHQ three of the humans are introverts. (The one extrovert is, like, maniacal.) One of them is, of course, too young to drink, but I’ve noticed the subtle and not-so-subtle effects of a drink on the other two. My parents each fall into one of these categories:

Introverts and alcohol

Which is to say it’s not a myth what alcohol does to introverts—it’s just variable.

What about you? What happens to your personality when you drink?

Use a cart, Dad

I’m still working on getting my dad to go booze shopping. This kind of looks like his handwriting…

Nothing says business