Who Is Liquorstore Bear?

I was a charity bear at a liquor store. My drunken twin went to a needy child and I went home with a couple who’d just filled their cart with booze. I still miss living in the liquor store. I used to get wrecked every day with the other charity bears; we’d party when the store closed. I learned to read by reading all the bottles at the store.

Now I spend my days at the mercy of small children.

I’m an alcoholic.

45 responses to “Who Is Liquorstore Bear?”

  1. Stevie OB says :

    You rgreat you are Liquooooor stooor bear. I have a dwink for you mate burp hic uhhhh

  2. liquorstorebear says :

    Awww, thanks, dude. I’ll have plenty more liquor reviews for you soon.

  3. Stevie OB says :

    What is LB’s view of Jim Beam Red Stag ?? Is two bottles a week enough or too much ??

  4. liquorstorebear says :

    I’d say it’s adequate, but only if you’re supplementing with other spirits. What does it cost in Wales?

    • Stevie OB says :

      In Wales about Β£16.00 up to Β£21.00 ($25.oo-$33.00 US Dollars) depending if its on offer. I find mixing it with Old Tom Ale (ABV 8.5%-I think thats about 17% proof) helps to elongate the overall buzz. I find Red Stag to be a superior whiskey and easy to drink with or without a splash of Coke.Love the new background.

  5. Stevie OB says :

    Hello LB, I am thinking of having a go at some Vodka this weekend and was wondering if you could recommend a brand thats easy on the palate. Smirnoff is to obvious a choice.Please advise.

  6. liquorstorebear says :

    I will have to get my paws on some Old Tom Ale. It has a very nice alcohol percentage, I see, so I’ll get on that, although it’s sometimes tough to find these things in my hometown.
    I will give your vodka question a serious think and naturally test-drive a few before delivering any final recommendations. Rest assured I will have some authoritative answers in time for the weekend. There are a few quick reviews under Hard Stuff but obviously more drinking is necessary.
    In the meantime bottoms up on the Red Stag; you have my wholehearted endorsement πŸ˜‰

  7. Boo Bannerman says :

    Hey LB, cool site!!! Have you ever tried Bison Grass Vodka??? I was turned onto it earlier this year… Think you’d like it… It’s about 10000 proof and nearly tasteless..

    • liquorstorebear says :

      Boo! I’ve missed you, dude. A vodka review is next on my list, but I’m getting resistance from the folks because they don’t care for vodka so they don’t want to buy any. !!!! If I ran away to the liquorstore where I belong, then I could try that vodka right away. I’d just sidle up to it on the shelf, gently urge it to the edge and send it over with a crash. Then I’d bathe in the puddle and lick the floor. Tasteless, you say?

  8. Stevie OB says :

    Where’s my vodka review ?? I had to drink beer all weekend as the vodka selection was to much for my head. Yours upset and drunk Steve O

  9. Stevie OB says :

    Dear LB
    You state that Malibu goes with everything on your Hard Stuff page. I would have to disagree with this comment as I find the product does not mix with anything other than pineapple juice or milk. And in my opinion thats a waste of good milk and pineapple. Its nasty, cheap and weak and best to be avoided unless your at your lowest and living in a cardboard box under a flyover.

  10. Stevie OB says :

    How does a bear get a job like that ?

    Knowing my luck it would be some 20 stone truck driver with skin problems and body odour who likes to dribble down his vest of a morning.

  11. Stevie OB says :

    Went out on the weekend and watch some local boxing matches. Drunk a fair bit of Jim Beam before I left the house. Continued with 10 pints of lager and a few shorts throughout the night ending in food with the girlfriend and a few mates. 4.30 in the morning arriving home we found that there was only tea or coffee to drink. The point I’m trying to make is that should you require additional booze after a heavy night out you may want to question if you are an alcoholic or simply enjoying your life. The thick head on Sunday morning confirmed my love of binge drinking as has been the case for many a year.

    • liquorstorebear says :

      That is an impressive weekend! I’m envious, although not of the stark realization that only tea/coffee remained after your liquor rampage. It is imperative that you leave something for the hair-of-the-dog, dude, unless of course you get up late enough to get to the pub. I like your style, dude.

  12. Stevie OB says :

    Also the very fact that I wrote about my drinking on the weekend speaks volumes about the love (I and various others) have for booze. πŸ™‚ Keep drinking guys it really does soften the edges of life.

  13. Rachael Black says :

    Lovin’ your home/about me bear. Keep on drinking and posting. I’ll be doing the same.

  14. liquorstorebear says :

    Awesome! Your tasting notes are very welcome here! Cheers πŸ˜‰

  15. Sharon says :

    Oh that’s it, I’m subscribing. I need to get an email notification of your blog posts like I need a (couple of) bottle(s of) wine to get through the day. We’re, how do you say…?, soul mates.

  16. disseminatedthought says :

    I’ve nominated your blog for the Kreativ Blogger Award. While it doesn’t involve a trophy or a giant novelty cheque (I know, it sucks), you do get a funky little image to display on your blog to let readers know how awesome you are. There are a few conditions associated with receiving the award, so have a look here to make sense of it all.

  17. Clip Snark says :

    I’ve never had Mead(e) before but want to try it. Do you have any recommendations?

    • Rachael Black says :

      mmmmmmm good mead! Tell us LB, it IS St Pat’s Day tomorrow and we’d all like your personal recommends

      • liquorstorebear says :

        Mead, what a good idea, but I think we needed to start making it a bit earlier…sigh. I’m thinking of an Irish car bomb, but I have a notion that drink would be offensive to real Irish people.

    • liquorstorebear says :

      I totally should have started making Mead early. I think it’s too late, although we could whip up some DIY Bailey’s I think. Off the top of my head: Bushmill’s Irish Whisky because I think it’s actually made in Ireland whereas Guinness and its ilk is, I think, really made in England (research pending πŸ˜‰ )

      • Rachael Black says :

        Enjoying a Guinness right now -preparing to get off my Irish/Hebe tuchas and get the corned beef going -and what’s corned beef without at least a can of Guinness in the broth?! Blasphemy.
        Just read the bottle on the Draught and it says Brewed in Dublin. Know that some IS made outside of Ireland though.

        Oh, and the Irish are not amused by Irish Car Bombs. Although all the ingredients for one are in the house. Hmmmmm too early I think. Gotta get that corned beef going after all

        • liquorstorebear says :

          Ack, corned beef is not on this bear’s menu…egad, what’s in it? What does “corned” mean? Sounds suspicious. Couldn’t make any sort of bomb drink here tonight – got nuthin. Well, I could combine Malibu with Bacardi Big Apple and some mezcal…that might be equivalent, right?

          • Rachael Black says :

            ha! a fabulous lean (if you know how to pick a tasty one… Mmmm nothing like a good MLT -said in best Miracle Max voice-). beef brisket cooked in basically pickling spices… and Guinness added to the water and broth. Nom.
            Hope you didn’t resort to the Malibu Yikes!

  18. transparentguy says :

    Dear Liquorstore Bear,

    Tomorrow is the Teddybear Picnic at the kids’ school. Are you free between noon and 3 p.m. to help the adults cope?

    Your pal,
    Transman

    • liquorstorebear says :

      OMG, I’ve been invited to that thing before! Luckily P took Glen Bear instead. My mum asked her not to take me because she didn’t want any phone calls about why her daughter has an animal named Liquorstore Bear.
      Good luck at the picnic. Glen said it wasn’t totally frightening and that there were good snacks.

  19. Sue says :

    Hi! My name is Sue, and I’m from SlimKicker, a fitness/diet app and site. I came across your blog yesterday and it captured my interest!

    I’m contacting you b/c we’re about to release a fitness tracker (similar to FitBit) early next year, and are looking for bloggers who would be interested in getting 1 for free to review when it is out (negative or positive).

    Would you be interested in doing this? You can email me at: sue (at) slimkicker (com) with ‘Review’ in the email heading if you are.

    Just to let you know, our site SlimKicker basically turns your fitness/diet goals into a fun level-up game. The tracker will work with the website, and allow people to track calories burned and number of steps they walk automatically. The more they exercise, the more points they rack up! That’s basically how it will work.

    Anyway, hope to hear back either way…

    – Sue
    P.S. You can choose not to publish this comment as this is more of a private comment πŸ™‚

  20. Le Clown says :

    Liquor Store Bear,
    There are people you know you should have been reading way before… You being one of them. And you being the lucky recipient of one of my rumbling comment. More coffee I say!
    Le Clown

  21. lordsofthedrinks says :

    Well mate… I nominated your blog for a Liebster Award! Keep up the good work!

    http://lordsofthedrinks.wordpress.com/2013/04/27/our-nominees-for-a-liebster-award/

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