I’m not saying you did think that, my fellow inebriates. My gummy bear project wasn’t well thought out at all. In fact, it was traumatizing for all concerned.
This guy, on the other hand, knows what he’s doing.
My dad told me about the Crazy Russian Hacker. In fact, my dad is now systematically doing everything he does. Yesterday he followed the CRH’s advice to defeat our printer’s low-ink message. The day before that he wrapped Saran Wrap around the banana stems to slow down their ripening rate. Today my dad cooked an egg inside an onion. Tomorrow who knows what he’ll do. But I sure hope he goes out and buys a giant gummy bear so we can saturate it with vodka.
My Fellow Inebriates,
Typically I don’t go anywhere near the laundry room. Hell, my parents barely go in there. Which machine is more terrifying, I couldn’t tell you, but given my low chances of surviving the washer, the dryer’s horrors seem academic. In other words, when the inestimable Christine posted this video about a washing machine on my FB page, I was afraid.
But she’s Christine, right? Christine, who last came over with a canvas bag of Highland Park 12 and other goodies? So I figured I should watch the video.
My dad said his golf week wasn’t any fun at all. It was all business all the time except for the one day the team golfed with frigid wind whipping around, plus he was pestered constantly by clients on the phone. He didn’t even break into that cheap Scotch, and when he got home he looked not relaxed but frazzled.
I have to say this made me feel better. (I know, I’m a bad bear.) I was prepared to be very jealous of my dad’s golf-week exploits but instead I felt sorry for him. He looked so downtrodden.
What my dad needed was a Beer Moment. I was reminded of the potency of the Beer Moment by beerbecue just before my dad’s golf trip and immediately began ripping off the idea storyboarding. My mum said she wouldn’t spring for the video upgrade, so I could forget it. My dad said he wasn’t acting in anything, so I could forget that too. Dolly said she wouldn’t be in a video either because our efforts always degenerate into attempted porn.
Being shut down every which way just increased the desire for a Beer Moment. Sigh.