My Fellow Inebriates,

Yesterday my mum almost lost it in Superstore because she had to wait 20 minutes in line behind post-Halloween candy-buying freaks. At 6:00 am!! We haven’t even smashed our pumpkins yet, and the Christmas decorations are going up in stores. Yes, it’s a frantic time of year. How long before we hear our first Xmas carol?

Surely Santa isn’t ready…