beer

Grouse grizzlies kill black bear cub

 

Yikes, people, looks like the bears on the mountain need to mellow out. My pal Blackie Bear could have been this bear cub, if he weren’t sitting on the couch eating cookies.

I had no idea this happened! This is the kind of thing that happens while you’re passed out, an empty bottle of Trois Pisoles lying beside you along with some vague ambitions to review it later. What on earth?

My friend Scarybear is a grizzly and probably agrees that what happened was all natural. What do you think? Should I be worried that he’ll maul me to death?

Grouse grizzlies kill black bear cub.

BLACK WIDOW Mild Ale (Tin Whistle Brewing Company)

My Fellow Inebriates,

Between worrying about an asteroid bashing into the earth (tonight!) and trying to persuade my girl Dolly that bestiality is a victimless crime—especially when yours truly would certainly not contact PETA if she resumed our canoodling (not that I have any traction with PETA after attempting to rehydrate my Sea Monkeys™ with vodka)—I’ve gotten behind on my drinking.

This is mostly the fault of my parents and their lackadaisical attitude toward liquor shopping. I’ve actually given up on them, which is where my small readership comes in:

Psssst! If you have any liquor—if you have brewed any beer, fermented any wine, cooked up any moonshine—let’s talk. I’d be happy to review it, and odds are my review would be favorable. You see, I believe that all alcohol has value.

And while I’m waiting for the FedEx human to show up with a case of something delightfully brain-blurring, I’ll tell you about the one beer I did get my paws on yesterday: BLACK WIDOW Mile Ale, produced by the Tin Whistle Brewing Company.

I was initially disappointed to see an alcohol percentage of 5% on the bottle. I’d just enjoyed Tin Whistle’s superb KILLER BEE ale two days before and been thrilled at its 6%, and so I was inclined to stick with a winner, but instead my mum bought the BLACK WIDOW.

We poured it into Reidel stemless red wine glasses. (Why? All the better for experiencing the aromas of a well-crafted beer.) BLACK WIDOW wafts a strong, toasty barley aroma up front, underlaid with coffee, caramel and woody hops. It has a lingering, leathery-dry finish that reminded me of a good stout, but with more crispness. It was so flavorful that I cried real tears when it was finished.

I RECOMMEND acquiring a bottle of BLACK WIDOW just in case we all survive Armageddon tonight and end up needing a pick-me-up tomorrow.

Bears are where it’s at

Bourbon Bear-Ale Brothers Porter.

There’s something about bears and beer. Is it just the way the words get confused when you’re blasted? You tell me.