alcohol

AYINGERBRAU D. PILS EXTRA STRONG LAGER

I love when friends send me tasting notes, especially since I’ve been a bit melancholy because there’s nothing around for me personally to taste. After learning of Ayingerbrau I certainly want to snag some, although that might be a feat here in Canada. I also heard that this beer has been retired…anybody know anything about that? Stevie O says:

Photo: Robert Gale

The Murenger in NEWPORT, SOUTH WALES has been around since 1530. The beer served over the bar is made by the Samuel Smith Brewery who are originating from England but we don’t hold that against them. Their beer is vegan friendly. The original well at the Old Brewery, sunk in 1758, is still in use. The brewing water for the ales and stouts is drawn from 85 feet underground.

Ayingerbrau D. Pils Lager 5.90 is available over the bar and is strong tasting and refreshing. Be warned that this is a creeper and before you know it you’re trying to eat a burger whilst the police load you in the riot van 😦

I can only really vouch for the Pils but would recommend the various types they produce to everyone.

Cheers dudes 🙂 hic

 Wow!

First of all, nothing in my neighborhood has been around since 1530. There’s a big Walmart nearby where the famous People of Walmart shop, as well as Costco and Best Buy and…absolutely nothing like the Murenger. Everything here is spanky-new-till-it-falls-apart, not venerable and redolent of history. Man, Stevie O, you are one lucky dude.

Being completely ignorant of whatever Wales and England feel for each other, I just feel happy to know that beer drinking crosses all borders and boundaries. Alcohol is truly about bonding.

Are there any vegan serial killers? I only ask because I couldn’t find an actual photo of Stevie O to insert my pic into, and so I used one of Dexter Morgan instead. I used to become very anxious watching Dexter and had to stop, I think because I identified so strongly with him as just a super person but kept getting really freaked out by his sister (and then he married her, OMG). When I finished this highly realistic Photoshop project, I almost hyperventilated because I thought it was real and that I was being clutched by a dead guy whose hand must have locked around me in rigor mortis.

There’s no Ayingerbrau to be had at my booze store, so I’m relying on Stevie’s tastebuds. I love strong-tasting and refreshing beers, and I especially like creepers, although someone once called me one and I think they were using the word differently. I would like to see some pics of Stevie getting loaded into the riot van, mainly because then I would know what he actually looks like.

Wanting to be thorough I googled the beer for a few tasting notes and learned that people drink it mainly to get pissed. They describe it as chemical and metallic but nevertheless feel a deep fondness for it. Ahhh, where can I get some?

SANTA RITA 120 CABERNET FRANC-CARMENERE-CABERNET SAUVIGNON (2010)

My Fellow Inebriates,

Apparently my DTs were a minor matter to my parents last night, as they decanted our chosen bottle of wine and let it sit for almost 45 minutes before I got my chance at it.

One of many offerings from Chile’s SANTA RITA, the 120 CABERNET FRANC-CARMENERE-CABERNET SAUVIGNON smelled young and thin, like an ordinary table wine. I’m not saying I wasn’t excited, because I was totally dry and would have gone for anything at that point. I’m just saying the fragrance that initially wafted from this vino didn’t quite transport me.

So the first sip was a splendid surprise. Whereas the smell had hinted at thinness, the wine actually had good body, lots of fruit, nice acidity and warm tannins.

It wasn’t as complex as I would have liked. Once the initial rush of alcohol had calmed my jones and the ability to discern flavor had kicked in, I found myself wishing for more…more something.

It did have some stuff going on. Behind the blackcurrent and plum notes there was a satisfying leathery twang to it, a hint of Elastoplasts that kept me returning for a curious sip. It was very fruity, but somehow full of contradictory tastes.

I should mention I was watching Breaking Bad, this show about a chemistry teacher who decides to start cooking crystal meth and ends up in all kinds of scary situations. There was this scene where he taped a big bandage to a horrible-looking leg gash, which might have suggested bandages to me, but not the specific brand name I was tasting. I definitely think the wine hinted at Elastoplasts rather than Band-Aids. You may think that’s very pretentious of me to distinguish between the two, but if any given plonk-reviewer can assert the ascendency of cassis over blueberry in a wine, then I can tell you which type of bandage I think might have fallen off someone’s toe during the stomping.

Breaking Bad actually stresses me out, and the wine helped a lot. I’m kind of an idiot when I watch TV because I forget it’s pretend. With its 13.5% alcohol content, the SANTA RITA 120 blend calmed my jitters and eased away the idea that druglords were going to attack the house. There isn’t even any crystal meth here, peeps, because my parents are super-boring, and that’s okay.

No brains, please, I’m trying to quit

I happened upon my mum cutting up what looked like brains for supper. She said that if I weren’t so preoccupied with liquor I wouldn’t have been so shocked, because cauliflower is quite a familiar vegetable to most people.

There isn’t really any reason for me to know about cauliflower. It looks disgusting, I don’t think even wild bears eat it, and I’m pretty sure it doesn’t factor into any known cocktails. But just to be sure, I checked with Drinks Mixer.

I love Drinks Mixer. It’s the most all-powerful, comprehensive booze resource I’ve ever encountered. Their Drinks Widget, which unfortunately doesn’t yet work with my site (although they’re working on that problem) can find you any drink, based on name or ingredients; you just have to type it in and hey presto, you get a bartending how-to. I love love love love LOVE Drinks Mixer.

My dad says I lack one of these.

And what I loved most about it today was that when I entered “cauliflower,” into an ingredient search, it gave me nothing. Nothing! Cauliflower has no business in any drink. In fact, it has no business existing. It looks like brains.