My Fellow Inebriates,

Apparently my DTs were a minor matter to my parents last night, as they decanted our chosen bottle of wine and let it sit for almost 45 minutes before I got my chance at it.

One of many offerings from Chile’s SANTA RITA, the 120 CABERNET FRANC-CARMENERE-CABERNET SAUVIGNON smelled young and thin, like an ordinary table wine. I’m not saying I wasn’t excited, because I was totally dry and would have gone for anything at that point. I’m just saying the fragrance that initially wafted from this vino didn’t quite transport me.

So the first sip was a splendid surprise. Whereas the smell had hinted at thinness, the wine actually had good body, lots of fruit, nice acidity and warm tannins.

It wasn’t as complex as I would have liked. Once the initial rush of alcohol had calmed my jones and the ability to discern flavor had kicked in, I found myself wishing for more…more something.

It did have some stuff going on. Behind the blackcurrent and plum notes there was a satisfying leathery twang to it, a hint of Elastoplasts that kept me returning for a curious sip. It was very fruity, but somehow full of contradictory tastes.

I should mention I was watching Breaking Bad, this show about a chemistry teacher who decides to start cooking crystal meth and ends up in all kinds of scary situations. There was this scene where he taped a big bandage to a horrible-looking leg gash, which might have suggested bandages to me, but not the specific brand name I was tasting. I definitely think the wine hinted at Elastoplasts rather than Band-Aids. You may think that’s very pretentious of me to distinguish between the two, but if any given plonk-reviewer can assert the ascendency of cassis over blueberry in a wine, then I can tell you which type of bandage I think might have fallen off someone’s toe during the stomping.

Breaking Bad actually stresses me out, and the wine helped a lot. I’m kind of an idiot when I watch TV because I forget it’s pretend. With its 13.5% alcohol content, the SANTA RITA 120 blend calmed my jitters and eased away the idea that druglords were going to attack the house. There isn’t even any crystal meth here, peeps, because my parents are super-boring, and that’s okay.