Some odds and ends, my fellow inebriates:

Vodka Gummi Bears

Look how happy the one on the right looks, and how jealous its little neighbor seems. That’s because the big one is positively swollen with vodka. Even its eyes are bulging.

Unusual wine tasting notes

It’s true, I don’t know what “chicken coop” tastes like. Do you? I know what it smells like. There are a lot of weird tasting notes out there:

• Wet slate. I’ve encountered this several times with white wine tasting notes. Unless you’ve been bullied mercilessly, you probably don’t know what the sidewalk exactly tastes like. (Lick the pavement, punk! Lick it! Now lick my boots. You like that?) But we’ve all smelt the aroma of rain hitting the pavement in summer…ahhhh!
• Horehound. What the hell is horehound? Apparently the name applies to two genera of flower…or…cough drops. You be the judge which is lurking in your vino.
• Baked beans, beef broth, spearmint, Kool-Aid. If I ever detect these flavors you’ll be the first to know, peeps. Big pass! (unless we don’t have any other wine in the house).

Broker’s Gin

The Broker’s Gin gents still have not called me. No tweets, no e-mails. Was the lovely Julia Gale messing with me? OMG!

Obama Unicorn Nude Baby Jesus Manger Christmas Card Art Painting

I’m loving my Dan Lacey print. Little did I know, the two small prints he sent with it are actually fridge magnets. Yes!

Fast and loose with the wine tasting

At Christmas my Nana and Papa brought over a bottle of two red wines mixed together. I’ve been wondering how to review them, but I guess I can’t. So let’s just say the bottle was conducive to getting shitfaced.

What the hell are they doing in elementary school?

Grade One is getting more bizarre. My mum opened the kid’s backpack today to find a photocopied picture of vole bones with actual, genuine vole bones glued on. WTF is a vole? Turns out they’re really cute, but not after they’ve been consumed and barfed up by an owl, which this one was. My mum almost puked at the breakfast table. The whole thing seems a bit abnormal, but apparently all the Grade Ones are gluing regurgitated rodent bones onto things at that school. Maybe the school needs funding?

Let’s just say all of the above points to alcohol, somehow.