My Fellow Inebriates,
Needless to say, the prospect of $5,000 is pretty compelling. With $5,000 we could buy over 200 cases of beer, which would help me forget the way my parents went to a pub without me two nights ago.
Even though I don’t own a sweater-vest; even though Dolly and I are engaging in hetero-bestiality; and even though we didn’t think to get some packing peanuts from my dad’s massive collection in the garage (my ass is full of walnut shells; does that count?)—despite these shortcomings we have two videos for HUMP!’s consideration. Which one should we submit?
This was our first effort:
And then (understandably) Dolly took charge, which led to this:
And as you all know, Dolly is done with me. But I don’t think she’ll really be mad if I submit our videos to HUMP!, do you? The question is which one?