Heroic but sad—Nova Scotia distillery turns its attention from gin and vodka to hand sanitizer

My fellow inebriates,

Now it feels like the world is ending. Steinhart Distillery in Antigonish, NS has pivoted its operations over from distilling wonderful spirits to preparing hand sanitizer. What a heroic (not to mention creative, versatile, and probably lucrative) move.

C2018 Thomas Steinhart

Thomas Steinhart, owner of Steinhart Distillery, says he’s adding essential oils to the 70% solution “to stop people from drinking it.”

Sigh.

 

Photo: CBC Radio

 

5 reasons hand sanitizer makes a crappy jello shot

My fellow inebriates,

Some of you have asked me what you should do with all your leftover hand sanitizer if/when this COVID-19 thing blows over.

It’s a very good question.

While my instinctive, bear-with-two-brain-cells response is that it’ll make a good jelly shot in a pinch, a two-minute burst of research tells me this is NOT the case. Here’s why…

  1. It contains the wrong kind of alcohol. It contains not ethanol but isopropyl alcohol, a toxic type of alcohol that can permanently damage your liver, kidneys, eyes and brain if you drink it.isopropyl alcohol mar 13
  2. Even if your hand sanitizer does contain drinkable ethanol, it probably also contains a bunch of denaturing agents that may render it toxic (or at the very least, foul-tasting).
  3. The alcohol percentage is much higher than what you’ll find in spirits such as gin or vodka. So even if you find some ethanol-based hand sanitizer, drinking it carries a higher risk of alcohol poisoning.
  4. One of your first symptoms after “sanitizer tasting” will be diarrhea, and that’s never a party favourite.
  5. It’s not yummy, people. Trust me—I got some on my paws this week and of course I sampled it. If you’re wondering whether a small taste will kill you, it won’t. But I give it a very poor review.

Photo: Isopropyl alcohol, Wikipedia

3 reasons NOT to make hand sanitizer with vodka

My fellow inebriates,

It’s come to my attention that people are using vodka to make hand sanitizer.

This appalling waste of good liquor has prompted me to end my hiatus and tackle some rampant myths.

  1. “The stores are out of hand sanitizer, so I need to buy it on Amazon for $400 or make my own.”

Wrong. Purell has stepped up production. Soon you’ll have all the hand sanitizer you want.

Purell Twitter - Mar 11, 2020

But it’s still not as effective as washing your hands with soap.

  1. “Hand sanitizer is the best thing for killing viruses such as COVID-19.”

Wrong. Hand sanitizer is for situations where soap and water aren’t available or convenient. The Center for Disease Control recommends washing with soap because it’s more effective.

  1. “I feel like I need hand sanitizer anyway, so I’m going to make my own with vodka.”

WRONG, WRONG, WRONG. For one thing, hand sanitizer is made with a solution of at least 60% alcohol, and as my parents have reminded me many times, it’s not the drinking kind. The higher the alcohol percentage, the more effective hand sanitizer is – which means your 80-proof vodka isn’t going to cut it. Better save that Grey Goose and its yummy 40% alcohol for a martini.

summer_cocktail-wallpaper-1440x900.jpg

So that’s my public service for today, my fellow inebriates. Don’t waste your vodka, and wash your hands. Of course, that’s useless advice for me, a furry bear. I’m going to stop “Purell tasting” and make myself scarce before my mum puts me in the washing machine.