beer tasting

VALLEY TRAIL CHESTNUT ALE—Cold-weather beer? I’d pound it all year round.

My Fellow Inebriates,

I don’t mean to be a dickhead, but today I’m reviewing a beer that probably won’t be on the shelves too much longer. It’s Whistler Brewing Company’s VALLEY TRAIL CHESTNUT ALE, a limited-release brew that bills itself as a fall offering (and which my parents failed to notice until Christmas).

At first this beer reminded me of the time we went with my Nana & Papa to VanDusen Botanical Garden for its annual Christmas light display. Just inside the entrance there was an old geezer doling out roasted chestnuts, pausing every now and then to honk greenies into a filthy handkerchief. The chestnut aroma was seductive and inviting, but their purveyor was not.

I didn’t really think about chestnuts after that. I mean, they’re just food. But when VALLEY TRAIL CHESTNUT ALE found its way into LBHQ, I remembered that old guy and his prolific snot.

This negative association might have deterred someone less obsessed with alcohol from downing the six-pack in a weekend. But I’m not really someone.

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If you can still find this cold-weather offering, I highly suggest it. VALLEY TRAIL CHESTNUT ALE is a hazy amber brew with wisps of deep-tan foam. The fragrance is overwhelming and robust—waves of chestnut and even hazelnut with hints of chocolate and vanilla. On the palate it’s sweet—my dad thought perhaps a little too sweet—with a kick-ass toffee/malt backbone and mild earth spices. The carbonation is crisp enough to short-circuit the sweetness nicely, so you get a modestly bitter finish working in tandem with a lingeringly sweet taste-memory.

This beer is freaking delicious, people. Whistler Brewing should definitely keep it on the shelves beyond winter.

Perhaps I should write them one of my letters.

AC/DC Beer—Enjoyed from the closet

Today my mother said I was plaguing her work life! Apparently, when she communicates via email with a certain consulting firm, her name doesn’t come up in the field—mine does! And even when she manages to banish me on her end, Liquorstore Bear still crops up for her client!

Of course I was overjoyed to hear this. It’s nice to know one’s name is getting around. But my mother has been a little short-tempered with me. So I’m doing the Right Thing and confining myself to the closet with a can of AC/DC beer. Named for one of Scarybear’s favorite bands, AC/DC beer is incredibly ordinary, if that’s not too oxymoronic for you, and delivers 5% alcohol in a grainy, light, German-style lager. So, yes, I totally love it. And even though I’d like to say more about it, nobody’s willing to do my typing.

ACDC beer

CANTERBURY DARK MILD—A gateway to dark beer (but not crack)

My Fellow Inebriates,

I love Wikipedia, and here’s why. Click now before it gets edited! If you missed it, here it is: Wikipedia’s list of Toronto mayors, the last being the notorious Rob Ford.

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There’s nothing more democratic than Wikipedia. And for that, it deserves a toast. If you don’t have some crack on hand, grab a can of CANTERBURY DARK MILD from Pacific Western Brewing Company. It’s dirt-cheap (for Canada), copper-colored with tan foam lacing, a malty, earthy aroma, and a strong caramel note. The sort of beer you can pound by the dozen, CANTERBURY is certainly too sweet and possibly a little too metallic, but it does the job when you need to get loaded for just a few bucks. Perfect for people and bears who don’t prefer lager, CANTERBURY is eminently drinkable and packs a reasonable 5.3% alcohol.

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CANTERBURY may even serve as a gateway beer for MOLSON CANADIAN enthusiasts looking to level up. It’s mild and friendly enough to pique drinkers’ curiosity about other yummy dark beers, most of which are, quite honestly, better. There’s a lot to be said for gateway substances, as Rob Ford might well agree.