beer reviews

CANTERBURY DARK MILD—A gateway to dark beer (but not crack)

My Fellow Inebriates,

I love Wikipedia, and here’s why. Click now before it gets edited! If you missed it, here it is: Wikipedia’s list of Toronto mayors, the last being the notorious Rob Ford.

Rob Ford mayor copy

There’s nothing more democratic than Wikipedia. And for that, it deserves a toast. If you don’t have some crack on hand, grab a can of CANTERBURY DARK MILD from Pacific Western Brewing Company. It’s dirt-cheap (for Canada), copper-colored with tan foam lacing, a malty, earthy aroma, and a strong caramel note. The sort of beer you can pound by the dozen, CANTERBURY is certainly too sweet and possibly a little too metallic, but it does the job when you need to get loaded for just a few bucks. Perfect for people and bears who don’t prefer lager, CANTERBURY is eminently drinkable and packs a reasonable 5.3% alcohol.

Carterbury-950x420

CANTERBURY may even serve as a gateway beer for MOLSON CANADIAN enthusiasts looking to level up. It’s mild and friendly enough to pique drinkers’ curiosity about other yummy dark beers, most of which are, quite honestly, better. There’s a lot to be said for gateway substances, as Rob Ford might well agree.

A toast to Star Trek—happy 46th!

For the 46th anniversary of Star Trek (which we are rabid about at LBHQ) I borrowed my friend Scarybear’s head.

At least he’s not wearing a red shirt. He looks like he could use some Romulan Ale. (Couldn’t we all?) Not that Everclear, Bacardi 151, and Blue Curacao an ale make, but we should drink it anyway.

Failing that, we should just buy some crappy blue beer. Reviewers say it tastes like ass, but just for today…

This isn’t the first time I’ve borrowed Scary’s head. I know he won’t mind seeing this again:

 

 

HOYNE SUMMER HAZE HONEY HEFEWEIZEN—Too mellow for hooliganism

If I were a 100-meter sprinter (LOL), I’d want my name to be Usain Bolt. I mean, bolt, people. What a fantastic handle. And today the dude broke an Olympic record to win the final.

But who knew some guy would throw a beer bottle on the track just before Bolt bolted to victory? Seconds before the starting gun, a man hurled some verbal abuse followed by a beer bottle, prompting his immediate arrest. Bolt was so focused on his 9.63-second sprint that he didn’t even notice the bottle.

American Justin Gatlin did notice the distraction, even though he achieved a personal best of 9.79 seconds. Perhaps the beer bottle helped?

I think beer bottles always help, with everything, particularly when they contain a yummy hefeweizen like HOYNE SUMMER HAZE HONEY HEFEWEIZEN. I doubt this is what hit the track field in London (what sort of macro beer would an Olympics hooligan toss…anyone?). Hailing from Victoria, BC, brewmaster Sean Hoyne can probably rest assured he had no influence, even lepidopterally, on the 100-meter outcome, but he does brew one wicked wheat beer.

And that’s a big statement at LBHQ, where we’ve been disappointed by many a hefeweizen, mostly because they tend toward citrus, banana, or just general weirdness. SUMMER HAZE avoids these pitfalls by balancing the expected wheaty lightness with that delicious honey that we bears go apeshit for. Prefacing this lingering sweetness is a crisp and malty aroma. Nicely balanced, SUMMER HAZE hits the tongue with an enveloping maltiness, dramatically contradicting the sharp expectations I had for it. Mid-palate the honey redoubles satisfyingly and holds into a marvelous finish. Ahhh!!

We can thank Christine (once again) for SUMMER HAZE. Perhaps I flatter myself, but I think she brought it over because bears like honey, and I certainly loved this slightly cloudy, mildly hopped brew. Unlike an IPA, this beer couldn’t possibly make you angry or ornery; it’s too docile and friendly. You wouldn’t, for example, chuck it on an Olympic track just behind the soon-to-be gold medallist who’s about to school everyone on sprinting. And he wouldn’t even notice anyway.

There’s a time and a place for hooliganism, my fellow inebriates: my house, after we move on Wednesday. We’ll take the door off its hinges and you can hurl bottles everywhere. You can wreck the place.