alcohol

Beer Throw Up

I’m often intrigued by the way people arrive at this site. Yesterday a visitor landed here by googling “beer throw up.” As it happens, I’m thrilled to give you my two cents on how “beer” and “throwing up” are associated. But first a video illustration:

“Drunk guy throws up into beer and drinks again”

Too cool. Now, on to some specific questions that arise when you google “beer throw up”:

Is British beer designed to be thrown up? Good question. There’s a misconception that the British enjoy warm beer, the thought of which might make a North American upchuck. Fact is, British brews are often served at cellar temperature (10-14°C) so their flavors can be better discerned by the drinker. Not super-cold, certainly, but not disgustingly warm either. And not actually designed to make you throw up—but if you feel like throwing up, by all means throw up. Then you get to drink more.

Why does beer make me throw up? Beer contains alcohol, which has a depressive effect on parts of the brain. A human body metabolizes about one drink an hour, so anything above that contributes toward intoxication. Since technically alcohol is a toxin, the body will do its best to process it, but it may reach a saturation point and send everything spewing out. The more you drink, the more practiced your liver will become at processing the alcohol.

Throwing up when drinking beer? Trust me, I love drinking to excess, but beer is meant to be enjoyed for its taste just as much as its buzz. Try nursing your beer and you should be able to keep it all down. Pound it when you start getting bored.

How long can I binge drink before suffering negative effects? Tricky question. Since I started binge drinking my fur has become very matted and I often have what my parents and girlfriend describe as “dead eyes.” I can live with these things, so I figure I can keep binging for a while. Be your own judge; you probably can last a bit longer too.

How can I keep from getting that drunk again? First off, how drunk do you mean? If you were that drunk then you surely have no recollection what got you there—how many drinks, the pacing, what you ate, your hydration level, etc. So you’ll probably be that drunk again one of these days. Just make sure you have some painkillers handy for the next day.

What’s a good bottle of red wine you recommend? I really like J. Lohr for value/quality and RECOMMEND the Seven Oaks Cabernet Sauvignon.

Link

Drinkify!

I guess when you spend a lot of time passed out, the world marches on and all the great ideas come from other people. That’s okay with me, because I barely have two brain cells left to rub together.

Case in point: drinkify.org. “Created in twenty-four boozy hours,” by Lindsay Eyink, Hannah Donovan, and Matthew Ogle, Drinkify “automatically generates the perfect* cocktail recipe to accompany any music.”

What a brilliant idea! In my house there’s always music on, and I don’t always feel qualified to pick the exact right libation to go with it. Perhaps Drinkify could help me take my drinking up a notch.

So…right now we’re playing the ATLAS SOUND. Let’s see what Drinkify recommends…

  • 1 Brooklyn Lager -Serve cold.

🙂 Awesome!!!

Now I’m typing in BJORK.

  • 1 Blue Paddle -Serve cold. Garnish with fire.

☻ OMG, so awesome!!!

Let’s try something different…I’m typing in WAGNER.

  • 1 Pilsner -Serve cold.

😦 Hmmmm…not so sure about that. Let’s try something else on the dramatic side. Typing in TOM WAITS.

  • 1 Sierra Nevada Pale Ale -Serve cold.

😦 😦 No way. Inadequate. Let’s try one more….ROLLING STONES.

  • 10 oz. Rum -Serve on rocks. Garnish with cocktail onions.

😀 Now that’s more like it!!!

Okay, let’s try something that actually plays a lot in my house: THE WIGGLES.

  • 2 oz. Old Rip Van Winkle Bourbon
  • 2 oz. Coco López
  • 4 oz. Rum

Combine in shaker and strain into cocktail glass. Serve.

:DD My faith is returning. For a second I thought randomness was playing a role in Drinkify’s selections. But this last selection can be no accident—the people at Drinkify must realize that when the WIGGLES are playing relentlessly in your house, copious amounts of alcohol are called for.

*May not actually be perfect.

DIY Irish Cream

My Fellow Inebriates,

This bear plays with fire.

As my friend Blackie often reminds me, it’s bad for us bears to get involved in cooking because we’re so easily mistaken for the oven mitt. Now, this might just be liquored-up paranoia, but it’s been enough to keep me away from the stove since we moved to our house. I don’t have anything to do with that thing. In fact, when it’s on I cower in the liquor cabinet.

But an urge is coming over me to make my own Irish cream liqueur, or at least order my mum to make some. She’s a real lush when it comes to high-cal liqueurs, so it shouldn’t be a hard sell. But what recipe do we use, people? There are HUNDREDS of them on the net, and I have no idea what to go with. Some of them use full cream, some half; some use raw eggs; some use coffee, some don’t…I have no idea how to pick the right recipe.

My second problem is lack of appropriate booze. We don’t have any whisky in the house, Irish or otherwise, so my question to you is: Is it okay to substitute Malibu? Will I still end up with something reasonably like an Irish cream? Or what if I use Bacardi Big Apple?

Ultimately it doesn’t matter because I’ll drink whatever results and then engage in all kinds of nighttime wildness. But I figure if I’m going to give some of my homemade hooch away to pals for the holidays, I should try and get it right.

What do you think? Do you have a favorite Irish cream recipe?