I thought every day was Margarita Day

OMG, I had no idea until Facebook told me (don’t you love the way FB creeps you to find your interests?) that it was

MARGARITA DAY

It’s true, my fellow inebriates, it’s a real thing. So get out the tequila and triple sec plus some fruit if you really want the vitamins…and blend away your troubles. Margarita Day is the best idea ever. Almost as good as “Margarita Morning,” don’t you think?

margarita-day

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Drinkify!

I guess when you spend a lot of time passed out, the world marches on and all the great ideas come from other people. That’s okay with me, because I barely have two brain cells left to rub together.

Case in point: drinkify.org. “Created in twenty-four boozy hours,” by Lindsay Eyink, Hannah Donovan, and Matthew Ogle, Drinkify “automatically generates the perfect* cocktail recipe to accompany any music.”

What a brilliant idea! In my house there’s always music on, and I don’t always feel qualified to pick the exact right libation to go with it. Perhaps Drinkify could help me take my drinking up a notch.

So…right now we’re playing the ATLAS SOUND. Let’s see what Drinkify recommends…

  • 1 Brooklyn Lager -Serve cold.

🙂 Awesome!!!

Now I’m typing in BJORK.

  • 1 Blue Paddle -Serve cold. Garnish with fire.

☻ OMG, so awesome!!!

Let’s try something different…I’m typing in WAGNER.

  • 1 Pilsner -Serve cold.

😦 Hmmmm…not so sure about that. Let’s try something else on the dramatic side. Typing in TOM WAITS.

  • 1 Sierra Nevada Pale Ale -Serve cold.

😦 😦 No way. Inadequate. Let’s try one more….ROLLING STONES.

  • 10 oz. Rum -Serve on rocks. Garnish with cocktail onions.

😀 Now that’s more like it!!!

Okay, let’s try something that actually plays a lot in my house: THE WIGGLES.

  • 2 oz. Old Rip Van Winkle Bourbon
  • 2 oz. Coco López
  • 4 oz. Rum

Combine in shaker and strain into cocktail glass. Serve.

:DD My faith is returning. For a second I thought randomness was playing a role in Drinkify’s selections. But this last selection can be no accident—the people at Drinkify must realize that when the WIGGLES are playing relentlessly in your house, copious amounts of alcohol are called for.

*May not actually be perfect.

MALIBU

My Fellow Inebriates,

There’s been a lot of buzz about Malibu lately and some controversy about how it pairs with various other liquids. One visitor took me to task for my assertion that there’s nothing Malibu doesn’t go with.

This bewildered me.

Malibu is a tropical coconut-infused rum, made in my native country Canada, containing rum, water, glucose-fructose, natural and artificial coconut flavour, soldium citrate and citric acid.

WHAT WOULDN’T THAT GO WITH?

A mickey-sized bottle of MALIBU has languished at the back of our cabinet for the last decade, begging to be combined with coffee, tea, root beer, hot chocolate…you name it. With its lack of complexity and bubble-gum notes, it lends itself admirably to any sort of combination you might put in a travel coffee mug if, say, you had to go to Chuck E. Cheese for a two-hour birthday party and didn’t think you could endure it sober.

MALIBU is at its finest when you hollow out a pineapple or a coconut and drink it straight-up therefrom. It’s only 21% alcohol so you can do the whole bottle from your hammock with minimal hallucinations. I like the way, when I spill it on myself, I enjoy the aroma of suntan oil for days after, even if my sometime girlfriend Dolly says that coconutty smelly is buried underneath mange and angst and some other odors she attributes exclusively to me.

I really love MALIBU and hope Stevie OB in particular will try drinking it out of a big hollowed-out fruit, even if such a thing costs 10 pounds in Wales right now.