My Fellow Inebriates,

Two days after the Academy Awards, Twitter and other social media scenes are finally calming down about Anne Hathaway’s nipples. If you missed it, Hathaway’s Oscar win was upstaged by high-beams poking through a rose-pink Prada gown.

Tweeted Perez Hilton: “Anne Hathaway’s stylist should be fired for not forcing her to wear pasties! HELLO NIPPLES!!!”

“What’s the big deal?” asked my mother, as we gawked from the living room in a way Ryan Seacrest couldn’t. “I was stuck on a plane once watching Love and Other Drugs, and Anne Hathaway is naked for, like, the whole movie.”

Trying not to look

That may be (my dad and I will have to look into it), but somehow the Prada dress came across as more provocative than actual nudity. But what about that Prada dress, people?

Who wore it best?

YEAH!!!

Yeah, my fellow inebriates, you know who rocked this dress. Ms Hathaway may have wowed us with her assets, but she’s got only two teats, and bears have six.