My Fellow Inebriates,

The other day at Save-On Foods we were accosted by a six-foot-tall woman wearing a strange pink-and-white checkered dress.

“Would you like to feel my dress?” she asked. “It’s made of toilet paper.”

cashmere TP dress 1

It was made of toilet paper. In fact, every year Cashmere invites Canadian designers to compete in a TP dress design competition that draws publicity to the Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation. Cashmere donates 25 cents per package of its limited-edition pink TP, and our kids unspool it profligately into the toilet because they love it so much.

cashmere TP dress 3

As soon as we saw the TP-clad woman in Save-On, I just knew P and V would go Project Runway on me, and in no time I, Scary, Blackie, and Fluffy would be modeling their TP creations. Indeed, Mum put some Cashmere in the shopping cart. But she quickly kiboshed any fashion notions. “This is for WIPING BUMS,” she said.



This was a relief, especially since it represents a considerable savings. P and especially V would be absolutely wanton with this Cashmere. I reckon they could go through ten dollars’ worth dressing us bears in bumwipe. And now they won’t, which means we’ve saved $10 for wine.

santa cruz verdejoIf you’re not following my math, it must be because you’re way ahead and have already unscrewed the top from a bottle of SANTA CRUZ DE ALPERA WHITE WINE EXTRACTED FROM VERDEJO GRAPES (2011). If you count pennies like we do at LBHQ, you’ll have to deny your children a couple of packages of Cashmere toilet paper and redeem your empties, because it’s $12.98, which is just cheap enough to be suspicious.

In the glass it’s an unassuming light straw color and gives off a light floral scent. First sips highlight tartness and citrus notes—refreshing if not particularly distinctive. There is a slight effervescence and some herbaceous chords chiming in—licorice perhaps, and meadow fruit. The mouthfeel is light, the acidity moderate. All in all, a nice summer wine at a good price.

Would we buy it again? Well, not if Mum caves in and spends all our money on toilet paper for our little designers. But she probably won’t, because she’s pretty good at being mean.

Rocking the red carpet with all six teats

My Fellow Inebriates,

Two days after the Academy Awards, Twitter and other social media scenes are finally calming down about Anne Hathaway’s nipples. If you missed it, Hathaway’s Oscar win was upstaged by high-beams poking through a rose-pink Prada gown.

anne hathaway 3

Tweeted Perez Hilton: “Anne Hathaway’s stylist should be fired for not forcing her to wear pasties! HELLO NIPPLES!!!”

“What’s the big deal?” asked my mother, as we gawked from the living room in a way Ryan Seacrest couldn’t. “I was stuck on a plane once watching Love and Other Drugs, and Anne Hathaway is naked for, like, the whole movie.”

Trying not to look

Trying not to look

That may be (my dad and I will have to look into it), but somehow the Prada dress came across as more provocative than actual nudity. But what about that Prada dress, people?

Who wore it best?

anne hathaway 5 copy


Yeah, my fellow inebriates, you know who rocked this dress. Ms Hathaway may have wowed us with her assets, but she’s got only two teats, and bears have six.


Who wore it best? LB hits the Oscar red carpet

I’ve always fantasized about attending the Academy Awards. The glamor! The glitter! The pageantry!

What gorgeous dresses!

Natalie Portman, as always the very definition of elegance

Penelope Cruz, stunning as always

Viola Davis knows how to walk the red carpet

Tina Fey, proving glamor and humor don't have to be mutually exclusive

LB, demonstrating the downside of beer goggles