My Fellow Inebriates,

For those of you still eating solid foods, here’s a fantastic way to include alcohol in your Mardi Gras pancakes:

YUMMY BUTTER-RUM PANCAKES

• 1 cup maple syrup (or, if your kids go through it fast enough to bankrupt you, no-name fake syrup like the kind at LBHQ)

• 2 tbsp butter

• 4 tbsp rum (or whisky/bourbon/vodka, etc.)

• Pancakes (optional)

Here goes…

In a small saucepan, heat the syrup and butter, stirring until the butter melts. Then REMOVE AND LET SIT FOR 5 MINUTES while your mother finishes making pancakes or whatever the hell she’s doing.

THIS IS CRITICAL!!! YOU DO NOT WANT THE SYRUP TO BE TOO HOT WHEN YOU ADD THE LIQUOR. YOU DO NOT WANT ONE PRECIOUS MOLECULE TO EVAPORATE. DO NOT GIVE THE ANGELS A SHARE*—WHAT HAVE THEY DONE FOR YOU LATELY ANYWAY?

After five minutes, stir your chosen booze in.

Okay, so now you have a delicious, buttery, booze-enhanced syrup. DO NOT GIVE IT TO THE KIDS—WHAT HAVE THEY DONE FOR YOU LATELY ANYWAY?

And finally, drink the syrup straight pour your syrup over your Mardi Gras feast. Ahhhhhh!!!

*an·gels’ share (njlz)