My Fellow Inebriates,
With New Year impending we’re awash in Top 10 lists. Being housebound and permanently drunk, I can’t weigh in very intelligently on the Top 10 of anything. I can’t even count to ten right now. Here, instead, are my favorite search terms from 2011.
By “search terms” I mean phrases people entered into search engines that somehow brought them to this site. Here’s a sampling:
why is alcohol so good
Here’s an example of a search engine working optimally. Every day is a paean to alcohol—because it is so very good.
random christmas turkey
I guess, depending on your lifestyle, having an entire hand inside you could qualify as random.
There’s only been one unicorn mentioned on this site: Penelope the Unicorn, Barack Obama’s constant companion and co-worshiper of the Baby Jesus. Just the other day Dan Lacey emailed with a tracking number for the print he’s sending of the painting that escaped me on ebay. I’m so excited!
jack daniels jim beam johnnie walker jose cuervo
Somebody’s thinking like I do.
I guess if you saw this once you might remember it and search for it again. I hope the searcher meant to find this pic.
What does this even mean? How did it funnel someone here?
anti gay charity
Was somebody actively seeking out an anti-gay charity? Yikes.
Who wouldn’t want to see that?
Can’t argue with a search engine.
should I drink a beer
bears nude guys
Bears and nude guys? Nude guys who are bearlike? I don’t know, so here you go.
nothing like a good spanky
I’ve never written about that (believe it or not).
To make liquor you need two things: plant matter and water. Anybody out there attempting to craft a meat liquor, drop me a line (but not a sample).
freak nativity scene
Here? On this site?
You got it.