My Fellow Inebriates,
Typically I don’t go anywhere near the laundry room. Hell, my parents barely go in there. Which machine is more terrifying, I couldn’t tell you, but given my low chances of surviving the washer, the dryer’s horrors seem academic. In other words, when the inestimable Christine posted this video about a washing machine on my FB page, I was afraid.
But she’s Christine, right? Christine, who last came over with a canvas bag of Highland Park 12 and other goodies? So I figured I should watch the video.
Liquorstore Bear 
Don’t let the parents get any ideas that you should be snowy white! You’ll never get out of the washer. But the dryer is still way worse. You can swim through a wash cycle. But heat + delicate fur = forever heat curled, melted hair clumps. You do not want to go there.