GRANVILLE ISLAND BREWERY doesn’t quite wow my dad, who then deprives his favorite little bear of an interesting brew

My Fellow Inebriates,

I almost forgot to mention, my dad drank something without me. He was at some work thing and somehow got his mitts on an interesting offering from Granville Island Brewery. I was very miffed at him for failing to bring some home; it seemed Very Selfish Indeed. So I made an effort to forget about that beer, until this video reminded me of it.

 

And now my dad’s response when I asked him if he enjoyed GRANVILLE ISLAND BREWERY GINJA NINJA GINGER BEER:

Yes and no. Although the beer overall was a bland Granville Island brew, it was very well executed. The ginger was very subtle—none on the front palate, all on the back end. Just enough that you realize it as it’s going down. For someone who really liked ginger, they might keep pouring it down to chase that aftertaste.

ginja ninja beer

In other words, my dad recommends GINJA NINJA for drunks. Again I find myself asking why the hell he didn’t bring some home.

Cheers, Oreo!

My Fellow Inebriates,

Who knew so many intolerant, barely literate A-holes would crawl out from under their rocks in response to the special Oreo that appeared on Facebook last night?

Buddy, I think your ass is safe, so let it hang out.

Taking into consideration the Pride Week Oreo’s presumably mega-caloric six layers of yummy hydrogenated filling, you have to know it hit the trailer park where it lives. Picture (former) Oreo devotees stocking up on massive bulk packages of (non-gay!) Oreos at Costco and Walmart with their butt-cracks hanging vilely out of sweatpants barely able to contain their (heterosexual) Oreo-eating girth.

Yes, when Oreo published a fanciful picture of a rainbow-filled cookie, homophobes went berserk, posting a barrage of hateful comments and inciting their gay-hating Lord to punish confectioners with the audacity to “support” gay America and the so-called gay agenda.

The Oreo Facebook campaign evidently hurt these people. It commandeered a product that probably constituted a sizeable percentage of their shopping budget with its yummy, gooey, chocolatey, icing-sugary delightfulness and turned it into a sick, Satanic, and deviant snack. Poor teabaggers!

Of course, they’re probably mad about the rainbow itself being appropriated in the first place. The rainbow, according to the Bible, represents God’s promise to never again send mass flooding. Which of course He never has. Oh wait, heathens don’t count.

Thankfully a “boycott” hasn’t manifested in any meaningful size. You need numbers to stage an effective boycott, and these haters—despite their confidence that they will make a financial dent in Nabisco—constitute a small island of fucktards in a changing sea.

Fact is, an Oreo with that much stuff in it could probably give you a heart attack. But it’s still a beautiful thing.

Cheers, Oreo! You didn’t need those hatin’ riffraff anyway (they’re not numerous—just rabidly vocal, if not plain rabid). Toasting you with a delicious Oreo martini.

Bottoms up!