OGOPOGO’S LAIR PINOT GRIGIO (2011)—Surprisingly delicate choice for a sea monster

My Fellow Inebriates,

My mother has produced an extremely belated Christmas present for yours truly—unwrapped as it happens—and a transparently obvious excuse to have a drink tonight while everybody else is on Vancouver Island. You see, my mother gets a bit freaked out by the noises our old house makes, and the only cure for that is to get drunk.

Ogopogo's Lair

Calling it my Christmas present and giving it to me on January 1 is rich, MFI, don’t you think? There I was on Christmas morning, on my best behaviour beside the Christmas tree, and there was nothing—sweet nothing for this little bear. But when my mother gets the urge to have a drink…Merry Christmas, LB, look what I got you! You don’t mind if I drink it with you, do you, little buddy?

Luckily for her I don’t mind. The bottle in question is called OGOPOGO’S LAIR PINOT GRIGIO (2011), produced by Ganton & Larsen Prospect Winery in Kelowna, British Columbia.

Named for the fabulous creature that inhabits Okanagan Lake, this wine pours a delicate peachy-straw colour that makes my fur look dirty by comparison. So light and inviting is this Pinot that you might be tempted to upend the bottle, but it is lovely to look at in the glass, wafting bright citrus and fresh orchard tones.

Thank you Wikipedia. We have a pic somewhere of my friend Scary riding the Ogopogo but it's gone missing :(

Thank you Wikipedia. We have a pic somewhere of my friend Scary riding the Ogopogo but it’s gone missing 😦

I wouldn’t have associated such a wine with the Ogopogo. I’d have taken that beast for a whisky drinker—a Laguvulin fan probably. But this is a Christmas present out of nowhere, so I’ll take it. Let’s find out how it tastes, my fellow inebriates.

OMG, it is lovely. Fresh and nicely balanced, with deliciously crisp acidity and a flirty finish, OGOPOGO’S LAIR is delightful. I think my mother should have bought me two bottles, don’t you? Especially since Fluffy Bear and I are planning to make tons of scary noises tonight, and she’ll need to be completely wrecked if she wants to miss that.

COUNCIL’S PUNCH BOWL SAUVIGNON BLANC (2011)—S’not much better than this

My dad busted Miss P the other day for smearing her boogers on the wall.

No one had thought to tell her not to do it. But when Dad caught her in the act, all the weird grey-brown sticky patches on the walls—over the last year—made sense.

As for my mum, she must have just thought that walls do that—they develop brownish, unidentifiably adhesive streaks over time. The thought had occurred to neither of them that P would excavate one or both nostrils and deposit the treasure on the walls.

Dad had just finished painting the girls’ room pink with purple polka dots, a process he took so seriously and performed so exactingly that he had difficulty allowing anyone else to pick up a brush. His scrutiny of these walls was already intense, which enabled him to notice P’s dried slime and, if not put two and two together, at least have an Oprah-style (albeit lesser) aha moment when he finally witnessed the crime.

Needless to say, he was really grossed out.

Finding snot all over the walls, I suggested, was sufficiently traumatic to warrant opening a bottle of wine. As long as the wine wasn’t sticky or gluey or brownish like P’s old boogers.

Who knew that Nana and Papa would arrive the very next day with COUNCIL’S PUNCH BOWL (2011) from Ganton & Larsen Prospect Winery? This fresh, unoaked Sauvignon offers up lively tropical and orchard scents and hits the palate with refreshing dry crispness—like a sunny, booger-free meadow.

As you know, at LBHQ we don’t usually gravitate to light, refreshing wines with only 12% alcohol. Neither does my Nana, who bought the wine by accident. A happy accident, I say, because we needed something with light and fruity high notes to overcome the lingering effects of a household-wide realization that throughout the course of who-knows-how-many months the walls have been gradually painted with a six-year-old’s nasal drippings.

Enormous thanks to Nana for mistakenly buying this summer sipper (a steal at $13!). Needless to say, she’s been apprised of the booger situation, and no doubt when she and Papa return to Vancouver Island, where the kids stayed a couple of weeks ago, they’ll assiduously check the walls for snot trails.

There are worse things to find on the walls, of course. My mum read a scene in a novel this morning in which a severed arm was thrown against a wall four times. Snot’s not so bad. S’not so bad. But COUNCIL’S PUNCH BOWL is much better.