NekNomination? No thank you.

My Fellow Inebriates,

You know I do a lot of stupid things. But the NekNomination craze is too stupid, even for a bear with two brain cells.

neknomination

I asked my Irish friend Fluffy Bear what he thinks about NekNomination. Four deaths have been tied to the game, in which drinkers capture video of themselves doing stupid things while drinking. Like Jackass (which I love), but without the emergency crew on standby.

In other words—and Fluffy agreed, albeit with an almost imperceptible head-nod—Neknomination is totally effing stupid.

It’s fine to love alcohol, and it’s fine to love Jackass, so let’s sip our alcohol and enjoy it, and watch Jackass in comfort and safety.

After all, you don’t want to be like this guy.

HENDRICK’S GIN—confusing as always

I’m thinking maybe this should be…

Hendrick's Atheism Remedy

“Hendrick’s Theism Remedy”?

No matter. HENDRICK’S GIN has always confused me. The first time I tried it, I paired it with lime and tonic. I didn’t bother reading labels back then; I saw the word “gin,” and that said G&T to me. How strange it was to notice a weird, incongruous flavor intermingling with my citrusy mixture. What the hell was it? I struggled for several minutes, my fellow inebriates, not for a moment suspecting this novel taste to be…cucumber.

Yes, cucumber. The very things P and V eat voraciously during the summer—one of few vegetables they tolerate without complaint. In my gin. However did this come about?

Hendrick's gin

I do not know who David Stewart is—Annie Lennox’s Eurythmics partner, perhaps?—but one day he lurched into a rose garden looking for cucumber sandwiches and had a dubious stroke of genius: cucumber-flavoured gin. Thus HENDRICK’S came to market in the year 2000, boasting 11 botanicals (coriander seeds, angelica, chamomile, yarrow, lemon peel, orange peel, orris root, elderflower, caraway seeds and cubeb berries), and subjected after distillation to lashings of cucumber and rose essence.

If you enjoy sacrilege and you generally like weird things, HENDRICK’S may be for you. I like both, and I also like 41.4 percent alcohol, but goodness knows I have to find a better mixer if any more HENDRICK’S comes into the house. Perhaps, if I pray hard enough, my parents will think of something.

 

 

A four-ring circus

Dozens of journalists tweeting about how gross their hotels are…

Kevin Bishop tweet

Mark MacKinnon tweet

Stacy St. Clair tweet

 

Vladimir Putin’s alleged extramarital partner bearing the torch…

Photo by Alberto Pizzoli/AFP/Getty Images

Photo by Alberto Pizzoli/AFP/Getty Images

 

The fifth ring failing to deploy…

Fifth ring no goIt’s a four-ring circus, my fellow inebriates. I ask you, would this have happened if Russia hadn’t scared all its gay event planners into hiding? Certainly not.

I prefer a five-ring circus.

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