My mother texted some tasting notes from an undisclosed location last week:
DANZANTE PINOT GRIGIO (2012)
Medium-bodied. Noticeable but restrained tropical profile. Good weight, good structure, excellent minerality. Quite firm with a long finish. Maybe 20 bucks or so?
So here my mother was again, drinking wine without me. When I asked my dad where the hell she was, he said, “At work.” And apparently it was not bring-your-bear-to-work day. Apparently work is not bear-friendly.
What the hell kind of work could my mother be doing that involves lashings of Pinot Grigio? And can I really trust her tasting notes? Let’s check, first of all, whether she’s right about the price.
Wrong! DANZANTE PINOT GRIGIO sells for $17.48.
Clearly my mother’s tastebuds were influenced by whatever sort of event she was attending. (OMG, where the hell was she?) Clearly whatever posh dinner accompanied the wine made it taste like $20 instead of $17.48. And clearly she needed a bear with her to estimate this wine’s cost more accurately.
So now I wonder whether we can even trust her tasting notes.
Let’s assume, my fellow inebriates, that this wine tasted a little better to my mother than it actually was. And really, I feel better doing that, because it means I didn’t miss out on such a good drinking experience.
Next time I will stow away in her purse.
Liquorstore Bear 
Please inform your mother that Oct 8, 2014 is Bring Your Bear to work day. You should mark her calendar now, before she gets sidetracked by more girly wines with names like “Girl’s Night Out,” “Middle Sister,” “MommyJuice,” “Flirt,” “Skinnygirl” or the inimitable “Bitch” or those with pictures of dancers, butterflies, fairies or whatnot on them and misses your day completely.
Damn straight. Noted and marked. An obnoxious reminder is set to go off for the whole month of October. Once again, I thank you 🙂
for some reason WordPress isn’t letting me post to your site. But I read about the data crunching…
Lots of data analysis going on here too. If anyone gets fired it will probably be us, for forgery, LOL. It’s amazing how data crunching SEEMS like it would go well with alcohol, but then you try it and…whoa.
I have no idea why your not able to post. I’ll have to look into that.
Actually one of the best data geeks I know brews a very mean barrel aged imperials stout on the side. Which sometimes finds its way into the office.
Very nice! There are a lot of geeks out there who love beer. It seems to go hand in hand with data.