Basking in Festivus with underpants on my head

My Fellow Inebriates,

The LBHQ computer got a brain transplant this week, and for the few minutes while it waited for its new hard drive, I was not the dumbest thing in the house. I could use a brain transplant myself, or at least an infusion of neurons to keep the existing two company. Then I wouldn’t keep forgetting stuff—like the presents I received last month.

I always hope for one present, but this year I got three, the first a Festivus gift from Sips of Jen and Tonic:

Vinderpants!

vinderpants

Wrote Jen:

I am going to be giving him (it’s a him, right?) Vinderpants as well a wine bottle opener. Vinderpants are underwear for your wine bottle! I actually saw these two years ago, and have been dying to give them to someone. Never had the perfect moment until now. It’s definitely something I would own, and is liquor-related.

I got confused, however (even though Emily and Ashley had fully explained Festivus) and waited by the mail slot for a while. Then one of my neurons figured out that the Vinderpants were a virtual gift. Ahhhhhh! So I made my own Vinderpants and toasted Jen.

DSCN3004DSCN3006DSCN3007

I’ve never received such a thoughtful, appropriate, and well-targeted gift.

Oh wait…my Nana & Papa got me this:

An LB-sized bottle of Scotch!!DSCN3003

Yeah…that was pretty awesome. It’s even nicer than the LB-sized mezcal with the worm I got a couple of years ago.

And would you believe it, Santa brought me one too. YES, I STILL BELIEVE IN SANTA, DAMN IT.

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6 responses to “Basking in Festivus with underpants on my head”

  1. Jen and Tonic says :

    OHMIGOD! You are quite crafty. Seriously, you could market those underpants, and give the Vinderpants people a run for their money.

  2. st sahm says :

    Who doesn’t want to sit around in vinderpants sipping delicious vino?

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