Jolly Rancher Vodka—get some ready for breakfast!

My Fellow Inebriates,

Jolly Ranchers Vodka:

You may have been weirded out by the off-putting opacity of Skittles Vodka. It makes sense that people might wish to see through their candy-styled vodka infusions, and if you’re one of these clarity fans, then here’s a shiny, translucent variation: Jolly Ranchers Vodka—yeah!!

Jolly Ranchers have long been regarded as a lens into overlapping realities. With a mind-blowing assortment of flavors, they’ve historically been the preferred side dish of acid-tripping synaesthetes who love to merge taste and smell with sound and color. Aficionados say Jolly Ranchers can make an LSD trip all-singing and all-dancing all night.

It kind of sounds like one of those made-up geezer stories you hear from forty-somethings like my parents who like to wax on about their lives “BC”—you know, when they used to read two books instead of one and stayed up until 11:00 instead of 10:00. But I honestly doubt my parents have ever done anything more heart-pounding than miss their stop on the SkyTrain.

Boring parents aside, this lovely Mix That Drink recipe seems like a nice nod to the role Jolly Ranchers may or may not have played in altered consciousness. You have to know I’ll never be allowed to devote a bottle of Grey Goose to it, but I hope you will, my friends, and tell me all about it.

Taste the rainbow

My Fellow Inebriates,

I’ve always wondered what Skittles were for. They are so bright and shiny that it’s hard to trust them. But here’s a nifty use for them: Skittle-Infused Vodka.

Shocking colors! Vodka for the bored.

What a shocking color! They’re sexy, they’re vivid…But why would we do this? What on earth are we doing to perfectly good vodka?

First of all, what do Skittles taste like? Plenty of Skittles came home in the old Halloween bags this year, so I had a chance to sample them.

Skittles are super-sweet, pseudo-fruity little pebbles, chewy with hard shells. Main constituents:  “sugarcorn syrup, and hydrogenated palm kernel oil along with fruit juicecitric acid, and natural and artificial flavours.” Mmmmm!!

So of course I’m ready to devote a giant bottle of Stolichnaya to the creation of Skittle Booze. Aren’t you?

Taste the rainbow if you dare.

It all raises the question of the age group liquor is marketed to. Certainly I’m on board with the whole idea, being a Skittles-generation bear, but my parents are too old to consider it. It’s too fun for them, too hip, too young. It crosses the line into candyland liquor that they can’t reconcile with a very dry gin martini.

Basically, they’re being killjoys again and telling me I can’t make Skittles Vodka. So I want YOU to do it, friends, and tell me all about it!