“Sweetie, please stop scampering among the bottles.”

“Settle down in here, you two. I only want to buy one bottle. Intact.”

“Sorry, sweetie, you can’t hold the bottle… I know you won’t drop it… I just don’t think they’d like it… Oh, okay, we can both hold it then.”

“See? You’re not the only children in the liquor store tonight!”

“Let the other little girl press the button; you’ve done it lots of times…” (No way.) “Honey bunny, she wanted to make the doors open. Let’s try to be nice.”

“No, sweetheart, it’s not gin; it’s scotch. We’re buying some cheap scotch for LB.”

I have effectively become a rationalization.