Bah!

My Fellow Inebriates,

The last year at LBHQ has been like a country music song. My blog has deteriorated to a shadow of its former, pester-you-daily self, and our drinking has indeed subsided to the dull roar my parents had threatened it would. About a hundred beanie boos, including a frighteningly large owl, have invaded the house, leaving no quarter for bears. All our household electronics are on the fritz, including the entertainment room projector, and our inability to zone out in front of an action movie has turned my friend Scarybear (being at loose ends) into more of a threat than usual. And to top it off, Facebook deactivated my account because—get this—I’m not real.

Sometimes I stare into space all day; sometimes I collapse into a little crumpled, furry ball.

Which makes Valentine’s Day downright unwelcome, my fellow inebriates. Especially given that my girlfriend Dolly says I may never refer to her as that, even in the past tense. And so, for all my fellow misfits who have no liquor and no snuggles (again), here are a few pictures.

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Grumpy-Cat-Valentines-Day-Meme-1

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valentine sign 3

valentine fail 6

kermit

fail valentine 4

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3 responses to “Bah!”

  1. The Waiting says :

    I had wondered where you were on FB! Twitter’s calling…

  2. Ed (The Dogs of Beer) says :

    How can someone who writes a blog not be real? On a related topic I’ve always thought Mark Zuckerberg wasn’t real.

    • liquorstorebear says :

      Mark Zuckerberg is so real that he bought a big-ass house and all the houses around it so he could–get this–preserve his PRIVACY. Only a real thing could be so contradictory. And he says he’s going to read 26 books this year. I’m going to kick his ass by reading 52 books! Damn it, Mark Zuckerberg, you suck!

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