alcohol

NekNomination? No thank you.

My Fellow Inebriates,

You know I do a lot of stupid things. But the NekNomination craze is too stupid, even for a bear with two brain cells.

neknomination

I asked my Irish friend Fluffy Bear what he thinks about NekNomination. Four deaths have been tied to the game, in which drinkers capture video of themselves doing stupid things while drinking. Like Jackass (which I love), but without the emergency crew on standby.

In other words—and Fluffy agreed, albeit with an almost imperceptible head-nod—Neknomination is totally effing stupid.

It’s fine to love alcohol, and it’s fine to love Jackass, so let’s sip our alcohol and enjoy it, and watch Jackass in comfort and safety.

After all, you don’t want to be like this guy.

I heard that too

My friend Scarybear says that with enough mental discipline (not a small stumbling block) I can train my mind to send out brainwaves and make my parents buy me any alcoholic beverage I want. He says he does this regularly with cookies and Rolo ice cream, although he still finds pizza challenging to get them to order.

What do you think, my fellow inebriates? Can it be done? Or is Scary imagining things?

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You think MY gummy bear project was good?

I’m not saying you did think that, my fellow inebriates. My gummy bear project wasn’t well thought out at all. In fact, it was traumatizing for all concerned.

This guy, on the other hand, knows what he’s doing.

My dad told me about the Crazy Russian Hacker. In fact, my dad is now systematically doing everything he does. Yesterday he followed the CRH’s advice to defeat our printer’s low-ink message. The day before that he wrapped Saran Wrap around the banana stems to slow down their ripening rate. Today my dad cooked an egg inside an onion. Tomorrow who knows what he’ll do. But I sure hope he goes out and buys a giant gummy bear so we can saturate it with vodka.