Question(s) of the day

My Fellow Inebriates,

Emily, presumably looking for a subject matter expert, forwarded me this question:

Emily's search terms bear odor

I love this. It’s like the person wanted to make sure Emily knew what the question meant—i.e., not how a bear detects scents (try 4000 x human sensitivity, people) but how filthy a bear actually smells to its unfortunate family. Yes, bears smell. And they smell. Bad.

Meanwhile, my friend Patti asked me if I’d seen this item on the shelves:

Pumpin-Face-Rum1

Holy crap, MFI, I had not noticed this product. Patti, as God/Thor/the Great Spaghetti Monster/the Zombie Collective is my witness, I will not rest until we have it at LBHQ.

And then, as if life wasn’t exciting enough, I learned I’d been named in a will:

Named in will scam

Awesome, right?? The first thing I did was grab my dad’s credit card and send the digits to my benefactor (including, of course, the three-digit security code). Who wouldn’t love an inheritance? My dad will be so happy when he finds out. Maybe he’ll buy me that Pumpkin Face Rum…or some deodorant.

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7 responses to “Question(s) of the day”

  1. ballerina95 says :

    A well loved bear never smells 🙂

  2. The Waiting says :

    Pumpkin-scented bear sounds like something on the fall menu at Starbucks in Russia.

  3. Indra Anderson says :

    Yes, bears smell, but not Liquorstore Bears. Alcohol leaves through the pores, thus cleansing the skin and leaving on the fur a pleasant rum (vodka, beer wine, whatever you last consumed) -like aroma.

    One hates to be indelicate but I believe that odor in the house might be coming from your parents. Tell them they need to drink a lot more and be sure to get them some Pumpkin Face Reserve, White, and 23 with your inheritance.

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