OMG, what will happen next??

My Fellow Inebriates,

Today has been, like OMG, awesomeness on top of awesomeness with a side of awesomeness.

Number 1

Emily reblogged my Monday post about weird-ass playdates, which made my day, bounced my stats upward (not that I was looking, LOL), and thereby introduced me to a whole bunch of interesting bloggers. So that was awesome.

Number 2

My Facebook Wrestler Unstoppable avatar LB the Alcoholic Bear has reached the finals in THREE different tournaments and is poised to win thousands of fake coins and dollars. Seriously, this isn’t the norm for him. He is often too drunk to show up before the countdown runs out.

Number 3

And then…and THEN!! OMG, are you ready, my fellow inebriates? Okay…deep breath. Here’s what happened next.

It’s here.

Months of skulking around my local liquor store, peering through the windows…

OMG, so exciting.


For a while I wondered if Julia Gale really cared about my BROKER’S GIN SUPPLY. While she never avoided my pestering emails, she did seem busy with a lot of gin-unrelated issues…a sore throat that made her sound like a porn star (she didn’t call, so I had to take her at her word on this, which I did), and then, inconceivably, knee surgery at the critical juncture when Broker’s-BCLC negotiations were going on… Honestly, I worried that Julia was infecting and injuring herself as a psychosomatic bear-avoidance mechanism. Who could blame her?

This is almost too delightful to bear 😉

If Emily and Julia lived close enough and I could see straight, I would stalk them. Because they are so awesome (unlike my wrestler, who actually really sucks).

Whatever will happen next??


My Fellow Inebriates,

Everybody around me is depressed. It’s January, they’re recovering from festive spending, work is slow, tax season is looming, and they never did make it back to the gym after New Year.

Not to mention it’s freaking dark outside all the time. Axial tilt is a bitch this time of year for the Northern Hemisphere and, even though my parents say there are six or seven hours of daylight I could enjoy if I got up, it’s just not enough light to preserve sanity.

Psychologists agree. One in eight of us suffers from SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder). Most sensible animals hibernate, slowing down their heart rates and sleeping most of the winter. But if I did that I wouldn’t ever catch up on Breaking Bad on Netflix.

So how do doctors recommend we cheer ourselves up?

Truck nuts outside Walmart

A handful of nuts. Nutritionists say omega-3s and selenium boost your serotonin. Sounds like a job for Frangelico hazelnut liqueur.

Exercise. Physical activity releases happy hormones called endorphins. Why drive to the liquor store when you can jog? And you don’t have to sober up.

Talking. Find a drinking buddy and have a chat.

Light therapy. Screeching hangover and a bright light—sounds like the seventh layer of hell.

Relax. Ahhhh! Decant a nice wine. Not a crappy vino, mind you! When you feel depressed it’s especially important to hit the price/quality sweet spot. If your credit card is still searing hot, try LINDEMAN’S PREMIER SELECTION SHIRAZ CABERNET (2010). I kid you not, this wine is under $10 and beats the hell out of most price competitors. This ruby-red 60/40 blend is rich and aromatic, wafting ripe blackberry. In the mouth it’s full, jammy and big with background pepper and licorice notes plus soft tannins.

The LINDEMAN’S PREMIER wines are marketed toward the hospitality industry as suitable companions to restaurant meals. Makes sense—they’re reasonably priced and uncomplicated enough to be enjoyed in distracting environments. I hate to think what a glass would cost at the local burger joint, though—at 300% mark-up the joy of finding a good cheap wine would be somewhat dampened.

Too structured to qualify as a simple fruitbomb, LINDEMAN’S PREMIER SELECTION SHIRAZ CABERNET is friendly and long-finishing—a good accompaniment to that chat with a friend, and perfectly good for solitary sorrow-drowning.