My Fellow Inebriates,

There was no cake and there was no Scotch. But my mother, oozing with generosity, bought me one beer (most of which she then dumped into a vat of lentil soup). The beer was called

The Langley address is that of a group of non-government liquor stores in Langley, BC. From what I gather, the lager is actually brewed in Prince George, where my mother was conceived out of wedlock many years ago and which smells of sawmill effluent.

I think it is the worst beer I have ever had.