this is for my dad

You think alcohol is addictive? Holy crap, my fellow inebriates, I got orphaned by my dad this summer.

candy crush


Oh no! It’s back!

beer is addicted to me

A break from drunkenness

Like any other blogger I’m overjoyed to have followers, and I don’t know how many it will take for me to stop getting excited about each new one. If I’m not semi-comatose, watching a violent TV show with my dad, or modeling earrings and barrettes for the kids, I try to make sure I visit each one. I like to get a sense of the people (animals? koalas? frogs?) checking out the site. And if someone digs the antics chronicled in this space, chances are I’ll get a kick out of their posts too.

But today I’m taking a little departure from the usual paean to drunkenness. I want to address several new followers whose own blogs center around their battles with alcoholism, and often mention spirituality, whether holistic or referencing a personal savior.

Sobriety gets a little downplayed here.

I guess I’m a little perplexed at attracting followers of this nature. It reminds me somewhat of past followers (who’ve joined but not left) whose own blogs are dedicated to right-wing politics, country music, romance novels, creationism, etc., and who might find their interests lampooned at LBHQ with some frequency. And while these aforementioned subjects are all fair game in my liquor-drizzled world, I feel a guilty twinge at the idea that people struggling with alcohol might have, when they hit the Follow button, thought Liquorstore Bear was concerned with addiction and recovery in any responsible or mature sense.

It isn’t.

Regular readers know this, and for all I know, my new readers realize it as well. But I don’t want to be a dick and ignore the elephant in the room—alcoholism. Everybody at LBHQ recognizes alcoholism to be a very real and serious social problem. None of the humans at the house engage in heavy drinking, which is why the booze reviews here are thinly spread between specious astrological advice, apocalyptic predictions, Walmart pictures, and randomness.

The terms “alcoholic” and “alcoholism” are generally used facetiously, following the house philosophy that anything you can think of between A and Z is worth a laugh. A litmus test in our house might be this cartoon:

If you can laugh at it, you’re safe here.

But if a focus on alcohol plus attempted humor minimizing the gravity of alcohol abuse/addiction puts you, as a reader, in a negative headspace, please un-follow.

I won’t be offended.

By the same token you’re very welcome to stay. As mentioned, you may well know exactly what you’re here for, and it’s not my business to say you shouldn’t be here. I like having you here, and it’s up to you. Our world is full of booze—in advertising, movies, restaurants, public places—and I’d be an idiot to think this little site could tip someone over the edge.

Oh wait. I am kind of an idiot.

So I just wanted to make sure you really wanted to be here. Kay?