My Fellow Inebriates,
For the longest time, Miss P was afraid to enter the public washroom at Save-On Foods because there was an octopus in it.
Mum was a bit slow on the uptake. Save-On Foods’ octopus was graffiti-free, so she saw nothing but a door hook.
Meanwhile, P was seeing octopuses* everywhere, and V was starting to see them too. Did their mother clue in?
She did not.
Like plenty of adults, she apparently lacked the neural plasticity to perceive these rampant octopodes.**
And Dad wasn’t seeing them either.
Not that P and V wished to see octopi*** while urinating. But that’s when they tend to show up.
* “Octopuses” is considered the most acceptable plural form of “octopus” because “octopus” is not a Latin word but a Latinized Greek word coined after Latin had become a dead language. Even if it were a Latin word, it would need to be a second declension masculine Latin noun to warrant an “i” ending, and don’t ask me what the hell that means.
** “Octopodes” is a reasonable (although not uncontroversial) choice for those torn between the instinct to pluralize “octopus” as “octopi” and the knowledge that doing so is, in fact, incorrect. Using “octopodes” does, however, make you sound like a pedantic douchebag.
*** “Octopi” is listed in most dictionaries after “octopuses” and sometimes even after “octopodes.” Some dictionaries do not even list it as an option. So the next time some smug grammar nut corrects your “octopuses” to “octopi,” make like a drunken octopus and start a fight.
5 thoughts on “The octopodes wish to brawl with you”
I also see drunken deers, quails and shrimps!
~Some Animal Grammar Fool
p.s. Your Mr.Peanut cephalopod still has me cracking up
My fave is the one saying “COME AT ME, BRO!” Because I’ve seen that guy at bars before…
Heh. Yep. Hell, I’ve married that guy at bars before
Have you ever seen the old KFC sign that is just Colonel Sanders wearing like a bollo tie? When I was little I thought his tie was his stick figure body. On another note, drunk octopus could definately take Colonel Sanders on.
Somebody should take Colonel Sanders on! He’s caused a crapload of heart attacks. They should dig his old carcass up and beat him up. (He is dead, right?) Of course, this whole thing makes my dad drool…kfc…