My Fellow Inebriates,

The morning started with football. And I was the football. First P put a bracelet around my neck (so I’d be a pretty football). Then she and V had a tug-of-war (oh yes, with me) to see who got to throw me first. Then they beaned each other and the floor with me for ten minutes.

What were our parents doing? My dad was staring at his phone and halfheartedly telling them to stop. And OMG, my mother was making lunch for the kids, of all things. She couldn’t be bothered to intervene.

By now you know that I’ll be asking for wine. Such an incident demands wine. So what’ve we got?

CUPCAKE CABERNET SAUVIGNON (2011). With a name like that, a wine should be plump and comforting—a blast of heavy fruit riding on a 13.5% alcohol wave.

CUPCAKE was pretty much like that exactly. It’s sweet and enveloping—about as sophisticated as P and V’s understanding of kindness to animals—but nonetheless reasonably yummy and thankfully short on the gaminess we’ve found in our last few reds. CUPCAKE delivers the requisite comfort needed after a morning of animal abuse.

I’m sharing it with Purple Bunny, who got evicted from P’s bed today after she decided to put away childish things. Despite making a statement to this effect, P then proceeded to listen to Katy Perry.

She also cast Speedy out of her room. You remember Speedy, right? He could probably use a big glass of CUPCAKE. He liked it.