My Fellow Inebriates,

People are sending me all kinds of weird stuff lately. The latest comes from my friend Stevie: a detailed nativity scene consisting of alcohol bottles. Check out the three wise men (Jack Daniels, Jose Cuervo, Jim Beam). I couldn’t have chosen them better. Joseph? Jagermeister, maybe for the “J.” The Virgin? Absolut.

I like the electrical plate above the scene.

Then there’s this nativity scene, showing slightly less effort, considerably less cost, and, well, no variety.

I still like it better than this nativity scene made of meat. It kinds of freaks me out, especially since it’s in the oven. Of course the animals were literally meat, and now they’re representing livestock, which would have become meat in a grand circle that probably didn’t escape the artist (chef?). My friend Scarybear would wolf that whole thing down.

So when my parents ask me, “What have you done with yourself today?” or “How are you being useful?” I figure these pics should give them pause (paws) and perhaps make them happy that I really didn’t do anything.