My Fellow Inebriates,
In my house, if you pass out drunk, usually nothing bad happens to you. At worst you might get shoved between the couch cushions, or another bear might sit on you.
Check out what happens in other people’s houses!
Photos: Passed Out Photos
My Fellow Inebriates,
Without a reminder from The Dogs of Beer (fascinating and worth checking out), I wouldn’t have realized today is summer solstice. I mistakenly thought it was National Thong Day.
The misunderstanding originated with my mum, who, after dropping P off at school, commented that everyone was wearing thongs. I thought she meant “a thong” rather than “thongs,” a term that dates my mother’s adolescence to the early 1980s—before the term “flip flops” became necessary for differentiation from the thongs I thought she was talking about.
My mother meant these.
I thought she meant these.
In their own ways, both types of thongs call for a stiff drink.
Unquestionably the drink should be refreshing and summery. How about an ISLAND LAGER from Granville Island Brewing? Effervescent and golden, this brew has a mild, inviting aroma—slightly sweet and grainy. It has a nice balance of malt, barley, and hops; if anything, it’s uncomplicated, which is precisely what you need after a Thong Onslaught.
When you’ve seen one too many thongs, it’s not just your vision that needs a rest—your whole body needs to calm down and cease being stimulated. ISLAND LAGER is undemanding that way; there aren’t any weird, exotic flavors that might send your brain on an irritating quest to place them in remote memory. The fizz is happy and sparkly—whee!
Seeing a lot of thongs can sometimes make you feel you’ve slipped a dozen IQ points. All the more reason to seek out a basic beer that will make you feel smarter than it is. But don’t let thongs drive you toward a nasty, metallic macro brew. Sure, ISLAND LAGER is basic, but we know from Granville Island Brewing’s other more exotic offerings that it could have been otherwise. This is a fine, unchallenging product that features malt and hops playing nicely together—with neither one snapping the other’s g-string.
My Fellow Inebriates,
I don’t know about you, but I could get lost in the liquor store. Trying to make sense of wine labels and shelf talkers is tough work, but somebody’s got to do it.
Winemaker’s Notes:
Kangaroos can grow 6 ft. tall. Keeping them out of the vineyards can be quite a challenge. Like the Ass, kangaroos can be somewhat stubborn; a real pain… You’ll feel no pain with this fine aussie shiraz. Full bodied with flavors of ripe berry fruits and subtle oak. Great with BBQ, red meats or mature cheeses.
That’s actually a useful guideline at the bottom of the label. You know you’re ripped out of your mind when you find yourself asking, “Why not?”
If wine tasting can only rid itself of its snobbish element, you’ll find all sorts of wonderfully specific tasting notes for every lifestyle.
As wine connoisseurs will tell you, barnyard is a legitimate tasting note that’s not always unwelcome. So why not feces in general?
According to reviewers, this is not a misnomer.
Liquorstore Bear 