My gummy bears have turned into unrecognizable sickly yellow slime. As all evidence of their bearishness dissolves, somehow my guilt does too. Now it’s time for…cannibalism. Whatever will those Bacardi shots taste like? I’ll keep you posted, my fellow inebriates.
My Fellow Inebriates,
One of my Facebook friends posted this on my wall:
The Internet is full of good ideas, as anyone who’s ever researched a possible medical condition will attest. There aren’t too many better ideas than this one.
As it happened, four-year-old Miss V had a whole bunch of gummy bears, and there was a mostly empty bottle of Bacardi Big Apple languishing in the liquor cabinet. Perfect preschool activity, wouldn’t you say?
But first I had to ask the gummy bears what they thought of the idea.
They were totally cool with it, although the white one kept falling down, which made me think it was drunk already.
Even as I warned them about the hazards, the white one wasn’t listening.
V and I helped them line up. Look at that yellow one getting pushy.
At the top, the gummy bear hesitated. So V ate it.
He who hesitates is lost. V nabbed this one as well. She didn’t really think we were going to let them drop.
Nor did my mother. This was totally an accident (the kind that happens when you prop a 2-cm gummy bear across a 3-cm hole).
“Daddy’s not going to like that!” said V.
“Sure he will,” said my mum.
By now the other gummy bears were frantic with excitement.
V got busy. “Mummy, what’s this drink called? Mummy, does LB like it? Does he want to drink it?”
They look so happy in there. That bottle’s been in our cupboard for almost four years, helping no one. Now it’s a party bottle.
Kinda reminds me of this other bottle.
My Fellow Inebriates,
This bear plays with fire.
As my friend Blackie often reminds me, it’s bad for us bears to get involved in cooking because we’re so easily mistaken for the oven mitt. Now, this might just be liquored-up paranoia, but it’s been enough to keep me away from the stove since we moved to our house. I don’t have anything to do with that thing. In fact, when it’s on I cower in the liquor cabinet.
But an urge is coming over me to make my own Irish cream liqueur, or at least order my mum to make some. She’s a real lush when it comes to high-cal liqueurs, so it shouldn’t be a hard sell. But what recipe do we use, people? There are HUNDREDS of them on the net, and I have no idea what to go with. Some of them use full cream, some half; some use raw eggs; some use coffee, some don’t…I have no idea how to pick the right recipe.
My second problem is lack of appropriate booze. We don’t have any whisky in the house, Irish or otherwise, so my question to you is: Is it okay to substitute Malibu? Will I still end up with something reasonably like an Irish cream? Or what if I use Bacardi Big Apple?
Ultimately it doesn’t matter because I’ll drink whatever results and then engage in all kinds of nighttime wildness. But I figure if I’m going to give some of my homemade hooch away to pals for the holidays, I should try and get it right.
What do you think? Do you have a favorite Irish cream recipe?
Liquorstore Bear 