CALONA VINEYARDS ARTIST SERIES SOVEREIGN OPAL (2010)—Delightful, even if it fails to get the Tooth Fairy sufficiently drunk to work up the courage to get the damn tooth

Impatient for more tooth-fairy funding, Miss P yanked a lateral incisor out this evening, fascinating Miss V and grossing me out with the bloody artifact. She’s not supposed to do these things while Dad’s away in Ontario. First of all, he’s missing a milestone. Second, my mum is totally chickenshit about getting the tooth out … Continue reading CALONA VINEYARDS ARTIST SERIES SOVEREIGN OPAL (2010)—Delightful, even if it fails to get the Tooth Fairy sufficiently drunk to work up the courage to get the damn tooth

SLEEMAN CREAM ALE—What would the Tooth Fairy pay for it?

My Fellow Inebriates, Once upon a time, when a kid lost a tooth—or in Miss P’s case, yanked a tooth out and trailed blood from the rec room to the bathroom—parents knew the drill. Wait till the kid’s asleep, root under the pillow for it, and leave money. Voilà, the Tooth Fairy has visited. But … Continue reading SLEEMAN CREAM ALE—What would the Tooth Fairy pay for it?

Why the Easter Bunny is an essential service

My fellow inebriates, Yesterday Ontario Premier Doug Ford declared the Easter Bunny an essential worker, assuring children there would still be chocolates on Easter morning. This followed similar assurances by New Zealand’s Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern about both the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy, and was quickly seconded by the premiers of Winnipeg and … Continue reading Why the Easter Bunny is an essential service