My fellow inebriates,
Some of you have asked me what you should do with all your leftover hand sanitizer if/when this COVID-19 thing blows over.
It’s a very good question.
While my instinctive, bear-with-two-brain-cells response is that it’ll make a good jelly shot in a pinch, a two-minute burst of research tells me this is NOT the case. Here’s why…
- It contains the wrong kind of alcohol. It contains not ethanol but isopropyl alcohol, a toxic type of alcohol that can permanently damage your liver, kidneys, eyes and brain if you drink it.
- Even if your hand sanitizer does contain drinkable ethanol, it probably also contains a bunch of denaturing agents that may render it toxic (or at the very least, foul-tasting).
- The alcohol percentage is much higher than what you’ll find in spirits such as gin or vodka. So even if you find some ethanol-based hand sanitizer, drinking it carries a higher risk of alcohol poisoning.
- One of your first symptoms after “sanitizer tasting” will be diarrhea, and that’s never a party favourite.
- It’s not yummy, people. Trust me—I got some on my paws this week and of course I sampled it. If you’re wondering whether a small taste will kill you, it won’t. But I give it a very poor review.
Photo: Isopropyl alcohol, Wikipedia