Says one of my recent Facebook friend additions, Ian:

If you want yummy Jell-O shots — get Wild Cherry mixed with Amaretto — Fantastic!

I do want yummy Jell-O shots. Leaving this graphic aside…

…Jell-O shots are a plain-old great idea. I love all kinds, but this suggestion from Ian is a new one for me. When I think about it, it makes perfect sense, but I’m not sure why. The two flavors just seem to go together.

But almonds don’t taste like cherries. In fact, almonds don’t even taste like amaretto. Why is that? Am I just too wasted to know what I’m consuming?

Apparently the answer lies in the almonds. Amaretto, at least in its original formulation, was made with European almonds—bitter almonds. Whereas the almonds we eat here in North America are sweet almonds. It seems we are just too candy-assed to eat things like bitter almonds here. In fact, it’s illegal to cultivate them in North America. OMG, why?

It turns out bitter almonds contain laetrile, which contains two poisons: cyanide and benzaldehyde, the latter being the active ingredient that gives almond extract its well-known bitter aroma and taste. And all kinds of stone fruit contain laetrile–cherries, peaches, apricots. Most amaretto is made from apricots, not almonds, because they contain the same poison. Wow!

So, how much of this shit would I have to consume to die??

Well, thankfully a lot. Europeans eat bitter almonds all the time without keeling over, and by some dumb-ass contradictory bureaucratic food regulation we legally import bitter almond oil. So it’s okay, friends, you can eat that shit. Eat it, drink it, shoot it.